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Tip #1 - Bathtime Learning TIP #1 - Bathtime Learning A Fun Activity for Newborns and Infants The big bath offers a wonderful learning environment for your child - one that will give him a unique opportunity to experiment with water. Like many parents, you may enjoy bathing with your baby, especially at the beginning when he is not quite ready to sit alone. This means your child is not only safe, but can also enjoy the security of the close physical contact with you. This will provide him with the necessary security to allow him to explore the water without any fear. If you do not go in the bath with your baby, there are bath seats available with rubber suction cups that attach securely to the floor of the bath. You can still kneel or sit beside the bath and make it into an enjoyable family routine. Provide some toys and plastic containers that float, even bath books, so that you can read together. You can pat the water with your child and see if he imitates you. He may simply enjoy hearing the sounds of water splashing and feeling the water on his body. If your child still seems fearful and does not enjoy the bath, perhaps his head and shoulder control are not yet strong enough for him to feel completely comfortable. Also, if he slips underwater he may become scared. A momentary dunking is not dangerous but it could upset him and leave him with a fear of bathing. Here's what you can do to ease your baby's bath fears and make the bath safe: Put a cloth or towel under your child's bottom so he doesn't slip. Make sure the water temperature is right - the elbow test is reliable. Cover the faucets. Make sure the bathroom itself is warm so that when your child gets out he won't get a chill. Postpone shampooing your child's hair until he becomes accustomed to the big bath. Water play provides a whole range of learning opportunities for your child. He is exposed to a totally different range of tactile experiences - splashing, slapping, patting and drawing his hands through the water. He is learning about the properties of water, what floats and what sinks. He does not have to be taught these important lessons - his water play will teach him! If you join him in this excitement, he will continue to associate learning and discovering new things with fun and excitement. TIP #2 - Mealtimes An Important Aspect Of Child Care Selecting the perfect preschool care is more than just evaluating storytime and playtime activities. Although often overlooked, mealtime is equally important. Child care centers have a real impact on the nutritional quality of children's diets and can significantly influence developing eating habits," said Dr. Theresa Nicklas, a research nutritionist with the USDA/ARS Children's Nutrition Research Center and a professor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. When choosing a child care facility, parents should take into consideration the center's overall nutrition program, including the content of meals and snacks, its nutrition education program and the mealtime environment, Nicklas said. Child care center menus often lack variety. And they tend to be low in calories, iron and zinc, and high in fat and sodium, Nicklas said. To avoid these nutritional shortfalls, check that a minimum of fat and sodium is used in food preparation, that menus feature a variety of foods from every group of the Food Guide pyramid and that selections change frequently. Menus that change frequently offer an additional advantage of letting young children experience new tastes. Menus are also more likely to be nutritionally complete if the center contracts with a registered dietitian to assist with menu planning. Ask other parents who use the center if their children get enough to eat. Children who often seem ravenous at pick-up time have probably not had enough. Child care centers should offer children food a minimum of every three hours. Children who are in day care for eight hours or more should receive at least one meal and two snacks. In addition to complying with regulations regarding food safety and sanitation, child care centers should train staff members in the basics of children's nutrition and methods that promote healthy eating habits, Nicklas said. Centers that use resources from state, local and national programs like the American Cancer Society and the USDA's Nutrition Education and Training Program usually have effective nutrition-education plans. Nicklas also suggested that parents look for providers who emphasize good hand-washing habits and for centers with fun, food-related activities, such as a child-tended vegetable garden. Child care providers who are good role models make mealtime and snacktime positive, cheerful, unhurried events. Nicklas said providers should sit with children during meal periods, eat the same foods the children eat, offer choices and give children an opportunity to serve themselves. They should also engage the children in upbeat food-related conversations, make positive comments about nutrition and encourage, but not require, children to taste all foods. Providers who force children to "clean their plate" and use food as a reward, punishment or pacifier are less likely to help children develop healthy eating behaviors. "Working parents who screen child care centers for good food and nutrition practices can be confident their children are getting the nutrition they need and developing healthy eating habits that can help them avoid diet-related problems as they grow older," Nicklas said. c.2000 Medical PressCorps News Service TIP #3 - Eating out with small children It's never to early to develop healthy eating habits and proper dining out manners. Taking children to a restaurant, trying different cuisines and learning the art of eating out is a great idea. The trick is to be sure you don't put your child in an unreasonable situation where your expectations for eating and behavior are beyond his ability to cope. You want eating out to be fun. That means making strategic restaurant choices, going out at an optimal time for your child and by packing the right equipment. First of all, choose a restaurant that is 'kid friendly.' Call ahead to find out. Do they have high chairs? Are well behaved kids welcome? A restaurant with a high noise level and lots of activity is a good choice. Your kids voices won't reverberate off the walls and the activity may help keep them entertained. Skip the hushed, dimly lit restaurants catering to romantic couples or business executives. Go early before the rush hour starts. You are more apt to be seated immediately and served quickly. If it's not automatic, ask for some bread or crackers when seated. This should occupy the kids and help them be patient until the entree arrives. Don't ever take your child to a restaurant hungry. This sounds counterintuitive, but a hungry child is just too cranky and irritable to enjoy the experience. A small snack before hand will leave them with an appetite, but not overwhelming hunger pains. Kids rarely eat their whole entree, so bringing them hungry won't make much of a difference from that standpoint. Don't let your kids wander around. It can be dangerous. Servers can be tripped and someone could be hurt by hot, flying food. Ask for a booth if they have them. Kids can squirm around more, or be cornered if necessary. Make sure your child is well rested. Don't bring kids just before nap time or bed time. For younger children, bring some of their favorite foods from home. Most restaurants won't mind. Bring food that can occupy them and keep your hands free for eating your own meal. Cheerios, small bits of orange or other favorite finger food are some suggestions. Take along a bag of quiet toys. Paper, crayons, books, and manipulatives will help to keep their hands from using the food as a toy. Treat going out as a special occasion and often kids will rise to the occasion. If worst comes to worst, and your kids just aren't behaving, ask for the check and leave quickly. By staying and trying to scold your kids into behaving you may only sour the experience for future restaurant visits. The older your children get, the longer their attention spans will be, and the more you can relax when you go out. By the time they are older they may be such seasoned restaurant goers that dining out will be easy, fun and a way to explore your town and other cultures. TIP #4 - Museums & Learning There is no magic formula for visiting museums. A spur-of-the-moment trip can be just as rewarding as a planned visit. But if you have the time, some things that you can do before, during, and after the visit may help to enrich the experience. Here are a few tips to help make your visit to any museum an enjoyable learning experience. Before the Visit Children may be more excited about the visit if they are involved in the planning. Ways to do this include: Talking about what they will see in the museum, especially if it's the first visit. This conversation may include some basic information about museums and also how objects get there and why people collect objects in the first place. Finding out what excites them. If your youngsters are interested in meteors or mummies and your local museum has exhibits on these subjects, you're ready to go! If not, just choose a place that sounds interesting such as a museum in a nearby city. Or look for a museum online. Relating what's being learned in school to a museum visit. Children can use the visit to do research or to find out more about a subject they're currently studying. Your local museum may have exhibits that will help bring the subject to life. Reviewing personal safety and behavior rules. Make a safety plan with your children in case you get separated, including the role of museum guards and other staff. Talk with your children about how to behave in the museum by explaining that museums have rules of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. For example, art and history museums generally have a no-touching policy because the items displayed are rare and can't be replaced, but Children's museums are always hands-on. Things You Can Do Before You Go Call or write for admission fees, hours, travel directions, and best times for family visits. Ask what days of the week and what hours are the least crowded. Some museums have free admission, while others ask for a small donation. Some have certain days that are free or have discounts for families, senior citizens, students, and children. Call or write for accommodations and services for visitors with special needs, including parking, entrances, and access to exhibit areas. Many museums recommend calling at least 2 weeks in advance for such services as sign language, oral, tactile, or cued-speech interpretation; captioning; or publications in braille or large print. Check newspapers, your local library, or bookstores for special exhibitions, events, or programs that may appeal to children. Libraries and bookstores often have books and free pamphlets that provide listings and descriptions of family activities that include regional museums. If you have access to the Internet, visit the web site of the museum you plan to visit. During the Visit The Information Desk is a good "first stop" once you're at the museum. There you'll find floor plans with the location of exhibits, restaurants, restrooms, gift shops, elevators, wheelchair ramps, exits, as well as places to sit. Materials also are available in foreign languages. You might also ask about self-guided children's and family tour brochures, audio tours, gallery games and activity sheets, and family workshops and programs. Find out the times and locations for hands-on rooms, kids' performances, musical events, storytelling sessions, or museum tours. Next-- Be flexible and follow your child's lead. Don't be surprised if your planned visit to see the dinosaur bones is put on hold because the huge elephant has caught your children's attention. Let them enjoy the exhibit at their own pace. Be ready to discuss any questions they may have. If you don't know the answers, jot down the questions in a notebook. Try to relate facts about the exhibit that you're seeing to what your children already know. For example, a knight's suit of armor serves the same purpose as a catcher's mask, a bicycle helmet, or shin guards--to protect the body. Ask your children to tell you a story about an object in the exhibit that interests them. "Who do you think wore that suit of armor?" "How did they make it fit?" Encourage them to use their imaginations. If labels or wall text provide more information, include it in your discussion. Play Museum and Gallery Games Children of all ages love to play games. Museum games or treasure hunts focus a museum visit and help to break up the time as you go from exhibit to exhibit. They stimulate your child's curiosity, sharpen observation skills, and generally make the visit more enjoyable. If the museum does not provide games, make up your own: Postcard Games. Buy some postcards at the museum gift shop. Then turn your children into detectives and ask them to find the pictured items. Not only will they enjoy the hunt, but they'll be thrilled to discover the real thing. Were the colors the same? the details? the textures? the size? Later at home, the cards can be arranged for a home exhibition. I Spy.. Have youngsters find an object in an exhibit and describe it to other family members so that each one can take a turn guessing what the object is: "I spy something red and brown with sharp edges" or "I spy something that inches its way along the ground." Seek and Find. Ask your child to find paintings that have his or her favorite colors, shapes, or objects in them. This game is not only fun but teaches children to look very closely at each object. Games like this give children a sense of accomplishment when they successfully find or identify everything asked of them. Where Is It? Ask your child to find something in the exhibit that is very old ... soft ... hard ... strong ... shiny ... Or something that feels rough ... smooth ... hot ... slippery ... bumpy ... itchy ... Or something that smells yummy ... burnt ... sweet ... Tell Me Why or How? Begin the game by saying something like, "If I could ask one question, I'd ask: Tell me the steps in building an Indian tepee?" The answers are usually within the exhibit. This game is fun in any kind of museum. Visit the Museum Gift Shop Families are sure to find books, posters, toys, games, postcards, and other mementos that remind children of what they saw and expand their knowledge. Child-Size Your Visit Don't try to see everything in one visit. Young children, especially preschoolers and those in early grades, usually learn best in 10- to 15-minute sessions and can be overwhelmed by seeing too many things at one time. Thirty minutes to 1 hour may be the limit. Should your children say things like "I'm bored," "it's so hot in here," or "when are we going home?"--you know that they've seen enough and it's time to take a break or leave. Plan another visit to see the exhibits you missed. Tip #5 - Ten Parenting Paradoxes Parenting is full of paradoxes. Here are just some of the many paradoxes inherent in parenting. You look at them one way, and they make sense. Then you turn them upside down, and they make sense that way, too: 1. It's useful for parents to have a consistent parenting philosophy, but also to be flexible and able to adapt to the uniqueness of any given situation. 2. It's important for parents to pass on family traditions and values, but also to allow children to be unique individuals. 3. Encouraging children to express their thoughts and feelings increases the chances that they'll stand up to you. 4. Effective teaching isn't always rewarded by immediate changes in behavior or tidy resolutions. 5. Children move toward independence and dependence at the same time. 6. Parents can be delighted and enthused at the new things their kids can do, and simultaneously feel the loss of their child's younger self. 7. When you cultivate independence in your kids, they sometimes become independent in a way that leaves you out. 8. Parents can love parenting one minute, and hate it the next. 9. Your biting, hitting, pushing child can actually be evolving into an empathetic, caring individual. 10. We're preparing children to live in a world that we can't possibly imagine. "Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else will ever make you as happy or as sad, or nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality -- especially while you struggle to keep your own." -- Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons TIP #6 - One-Minute Car Seat Safety
Check-Up Using a car seat correctly makes a big difference. Does your car have a passenger air bag? An infant in a rear-facing seat should NEVER be placed in the front seat of a vehicle that has a passenger air bag. The safest place for all children to ride is in the back seat. If an older child must ride in the front seat, move the vehicle seat as far back from the air bag as possible and buckle the child properly. Is your child facing the right way for both weight and age? Infants should ride facing the back of the car until they have reached at least 1 year of age AND weigh at least 20 pounds. A child who weighs over 20 pounds AND is older than 1 year of age may face forward. Has your child grown too tall for the convertible or forward-facing seat or has your child reached 40 pounds? Use a belt-positioning booster seat to help protect your child until he is big enough to use a seat belt properly. A belt-positioning booster seat is used with a lap and shoulder belt. Shield boosters, used only with lap belts, are not safe for children over 40 pounds. Children under 40 pounds should use a convertible or forward-facing seat. Shield boosters should only be used without the shield with a lap/shoulder belt. Have you tried the car seat in your vehicle? Not all car seats fit in all vehicles. When the car seat is installed, be sure it does not move side-to-side or toward the front of the car. Be sure to read the section on car seats in the owner's manual for your car. Is the seat belt in the right place and pulled tight? Route the seat belt through the correct path (check your instructions to make sure), kneel in the seat to press it down, and pull the belt tight. A convertible seat has two different belt paths, one for infants and one for toddlers. Check the owner's manual for your car to see if you need to use a locking clip or a tether to keep the safety seat secure. Is the harness snug; does it stay on your child's shoulders? The shoulder straps of the car seat go in the lowest slots for infants riding backward, and in the highest slots for children facing forward. The chest clip should be placed at armpit level to keep the harness straps on the shoulders. Harnesses should fit snugly against your child's body. Check the instructions on how to adjust the straps. Do you have the instructions for the car seat? Follow them and keep them with the car seat. You will need them as your child gets bigger. Be sure to send in the registration card that comes with the car seat. It will be important in case your car seat is recalled. Has your child's car seat been recalled? Call the Auto Safety Hotline for a list of recalled seats that need repair. Be sure to make any necessary repairs to your car seat. Has your child's car seat been in a crash? If so, it may have been weakened and should not be used, even if it looks all right. Call the car seat manufacturer if you have questions about the safety of your seat. TIP #7 - Baby Names Girls' Names
1. Michael See the 1999 list http://members.xoom.com/speaker6/lists/baby99.html TIP #8 - Taming Temper Tantrums What to Do When Your Child Explodes The store is crowded, you're in a rush, and the checkout line stretches on forever. Of course, your preschooler chooses that exact moment to have a major meltdown. You cajole, you threaten, you beg -- still, your youngster screams, wails, kicks and puts on a quite a spectacle. What can you do to avoid a nightmare like this? First and foremost, watch for telltale signs. The best way to deal with tantrums is to stop them before they start. Full-blown screaming fits don't just happen on a whim; you can usually see them coming. When your child starts whining, becomes increasingly irritable, and does not respond to your repeated efforts to distract or comfort him, it's a safe bet you're well on your way to a tantrum. If over-stimulation is the culprit (for example, you're at a birthday party with twelve other boisterous kids), briefly remove your child from the situation to calm him down (take a potty break or go for a short walk away from the fray). If your child appears overtired while running errands, try to prioritize and perhaps cut the trip short to give your little one a chance to rest. Stay calm. It can be difficult to ignore the disapproving stares of strangers as your youngster kicks and yells on the floor of the supermarket, but you must stay calm and focused in order to resolve it. Many times, a child acts out as a way of getting a "rise" out of a parent; staying neutral in your reactions will demonstrate to your child that this tactic won't work -- a crucial step in ending tantrums for good. Remember also that children are great imitators -- if you respond to stress by yelling, so will they. Don't place blame. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself ("Why is my child doing this to me?"), try to understand that most tantrums stem from your child's frustration and lack of control. When your child acts out, he is having difficulty expressing what the real problem is, either due to his limited vocabulary or the inability to fully comprehend what is bothering him. Schedule quiet time. If your preschooler has tantrums regularly, particularly during former naptimes, try planning some quiet time beforehand to avoid overstimulation -- read a book together, watch a video, or listen to soothing music. Explain the consequences. Tantrums are often triggered when your child doesn't get his way. To discourage future outbursts, set boundaries and stick to them. For example, explain to your child that if he won't pick up his toys when asked, you'll have to put them away for a few days -- then do it. If you give in, all you'll be teaching your child is that tantrums are effective. Consult your pediatrician. When tantrums increase or intensify as your child gets older; are accompanied by nightmares, toilet training setbacks and anxiety; or if your child holds his breath until he faints -- it may be an indication of a more serious emotional problem. TIP #9 - Eye Injuries Each year, 29,000 children under age 5 are treated in hospital emergency rooms for eye injuries. Kids are especially prone to these injuries because they have a slower reaction time than adults. The eye is a delicate organ--the cornea can be easily scratched by an edge of paper or a fingernail, and a heavy blow to the eye could tear the retina. Even seemingly minor damage, if left untreated, can lead to irreversible vision problems later in life. So it's crucial to know how to handle an accident. Even more important: You can prevent nearly 90 percent of eye injuries by taking a few simple precautions. Read on for our sight-saving advice. First Aid for the Eyes Speck of dirt: Hit by a ball: Scratched cornea: Cut eyelid: Piece of Glass: Chemical Splash: Safety Smarts DO Supervise kids when they are using sharp objects, including silverware; teach them to walk, never run, with scissors, and to keep the blades downward. Store household chemicals and sprays--such as ammonia, drain cleaner, and detergent--out of reach. Equip children who play sports such as hockey and baseball with a pair of polycarbonate goggles, which can prevent up to 90 percent of sports-related eye injuries. Look for goggles approved by the American Society of Testing and Materials or the Protective Eyewear Certification Council. Pad furniture edges, fireplace edges, and sharp corners in your house. Keep paper clips, pens, and pencils in a desk or drawer where little hands can't reach them. Give your child swimming goggles--they'll protect her eyes underwater from wayward elbows, fingers, and toes. DON'T... Let your child stay in the yard when a lawn mower is running--stones and other debris can catapult into the eye, causing serious damage. Allow your child to set off firecrackers or stand near others who are. Let your child stick his head out the window of a moving car, since sand and insects could fly into his eyes. Put a raw steak on a black eye. Contrary to popular belief, it does not contain proteins that heal the eye. Use crushed ice or a cold cloth as a compress instead. Let children play with sparklers unsupervised--the hot, sharp points can easily injure an eye. Teach children not to wave them close to their own or another child's face. Ignore poisons in your garage that can burn kids' eyes, such as fertilizers, weed killers, and antifreeze. Always store them securely on a high shelf. Does Your Child Need Sunglasses? Any child who spends time in the sun should wear sunglasses to protect her eyes from damaging UV rays, which over time can burn delicate corneal tissues and lead to cataracts and age-related macular degeneration. Buy glasses labeled "blocks 99 to 100 percent of UV-A and UV-B rays" or "UV absorption up to 400 nm [nanometers]." The best choice is a pair with polycarbonate lenses, which are shatterproof and block ultraviolet light. (These are available at optical shops, drugstores, and mass-market chain stores for as little as $10.) Have your child try them on before you buy them. If you can easily see her eyes through the lenses, they don't screen out enough light. Stay away from the flimsy novelty kind, which can crack if they are hit with a ball and send plastic shards into the eye. To encourage your child to wear sunglasses, attach a colorful fitted strap. Dressing your baby in a bonnet or your older child in a hat with a large brim can also help block up to 50 percent of harmful UV rays. TIP #10 - Night Time Children dream more than adults, and a higher percentage of their dreams are nightmares, according to Phyllis Koch-Sheras, Ph.D., coauthor of several books on dreams, including The Dream Sourcebook (Lowell House). If your 2-year-old has a nightmare, here's how to help. Don't belittle the experience by saying, "It was only a dream." A nightmare is very real to a toddler; trivializing it won't make him less afraid. Do tell him that a dream is a story he made up. This suggests that a scary dream is under his control and that he is able to change the ending. If your child brings up his dream the next day, do suggest that he draw what he can recall. Getting an image on paper helps him feel more in control and manage his feelings better. Don't attempt to interpret your child's dream for him. Instead, if he's inclined to talk, let him tell you what he thinks the dream means. A Surprising Sleep Strategy for Babies Some sleep-deprived new parents may keep their infant up late, hoping this will encourage her to sleep through the night. But the reverse may be true: A healthy baby who is put down earlier, starting at around 3 to 4 weeks of age, is more likely to sleep through the night sooner, says Athleen B. Godfrey, R.N., clinical professor of nursing at the University of Utah College of Nursing, in Salt Lake City, who has been dispensing this advice to parents for more than 25 years. "A baby's circadian rhythms develop in the first months of life, giving parents an opportunity to establish an early-to-bed routine," she explains. "A baby who is put to bed by 7 or 8 p.m. should gradually awaken less during the night. Within a month, she may sleep at least eight hours straight." Godfrey urges couples not to feel guilty about having less time with their baby at night; they can make up for it in the morning. "Babies are early-morning people, no matter when they go to bed," she says. Of course, the prospect of being awakened at 4 a.m. is not appealing, but new parents can take heart: By 9 to 10 months of age, most babies sleep 10 to 12 hours at a stretch each night. TIP #11 - Nighty Night and Sleep Tight Few child-rearing issues are as troublesome for parents as sleep, from getting the baby to bed to dealing with a teen's erratic patterns. Here, Dr. Brazelton answers some of the most common sleep questions. What are night terrors, and is there something we can do to stop them? Night terrors are a severe form of nightmare that's neurologically based. They're like mild seizures that the child eventually outgrows. Children aren't awake during them and can't be comforted until they do wake. Your son may be experiencing night terrors, but I doubt it, as they usually start earlier in life. Ask your pediatrician. If he identifies your son's sleep disturbances as night terrors, medication may be necessary. More likely he's going through a perfectly normal 4-year-old stage in which nightmares at night and fears during the day grow out of new, aggressive feelings that start coming to the surface between the ages of 3 and 5. Once a child learns safe and acceptable ways of dealing with his feelings of aggression, the nightmares and fears subside. You can move the process along by helping him recognize his feelings and showing him ways to express them safely. He'll also learn by seeing how you deal with your own aggression. For instance, if someone breaks in ahead of you in a supermarket line while he's with you, talk to him later about the way you handled it: "When that woman pushed her cart in front of us, I felt angry, but instead of yelling at her, I told her in a very firm voice that we were there first. Then, as you saw, she apologized and got behind us. When someone does something you think is wrong, speak up about it, but try to stay calm." At bedtime my 10-year-old starts fretting and complaining about things that happened at school or with friends, or even about his anger at me, his dad or a teacher. I talk with him, but he's too upset to go to sleep. What else can I do? It's really a very good thing that he's able to unload his anger and anxieties on you. If you feel it's too upsetting for him before bed, suggest a regular shared time after dinner for you or his dad to sit down with him to discuss his thoughts and feelings. If that doesn't work, continue to let him talk at bedtime. It may not seem so, but his distress is eased a lot once he has gotten it off his chest. You're lucky he feels safe in confiding in you, and doesn't hold his troubles inside. Our girls, ages 6 and 9, go to bed on time, but then they watch TV until all hours. We allow this in order to get them in at night, but I heard on the news that it's bad to let kids watch television after they're in bed. Is that true? Yes. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics has recently warned against having television sets or computers in children's bedrooms. When kids watch TV from bed, they stay up too late, become overstimulated, and may watch programs that are unsuitable for them. It sounds as if you don't feel in control of their bedtimes, but it's important that you do take charge. You can wean them from their bedtime TV habit - first, by removing the set from the bedroom and putting it in a family room or den; second, by replacing television programs with videotapes that are of interest to them and approved by you; and third, by giving them the option of being read to at bedtime instead of watching a video. In order for these ideas to work, though, you'll need to be firm and decisive. We just had a new baby, which made it necessary to move our 3-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son into a bedroom together. Right now we have no choice, but I'd like to know at what age a boy and girl should stop sharing the same bedroom. There's no exact age, but when they each want privacy, usually in preadolescence around 9, 10 or 11, they'll ask you to separate them. If possible, that would be the time to give them their own rooms, but if you can't, you'll need to look for innovative ways to give each child a private space. Some families solve the problem by erecting a partition across the bedroom with each child "owning" his or her half of it. Or you might designate a quiet area in the house for each one to use exclusively at separate designated times for doing homework, reading or just daydreaming. I read about a government study that found it's unsafe to have your baby in bed with you because she might be smothered. We're a working couple with a 5-month-old who won't sleep until we put her in our bed. We've never had a problem, but now I'm worried. Should I be? I can't tell you that it's completely safe to sleep in the same bed with a small baby, as there are dangers, both from the bedclothes and from a parent's movements during deep sleep. The American Academy of Pediatrics has also cautioned against co-sleeping. Even so, many working parents find it extremely hard to separate from their baby at night since they've been away from her all day. This is understandable, but if you do keep sleeping with your child, be sure to observe these safeguards: Co-sleep only if you have plenty of bed space, so your baby won't be crowded too close to an adult. Have a firm mattress and few bedclothes and pillows that could get up around her face. Never sleep with her if you've been drinking or are so tired you could roll over on her. Our 11-year-old says we have no right to tell him when to go to bed because he's not sleepy and none of his friends have a bedtime. He has a very long day - band practice at 7:30 a.m. followed by school, then football practice, then homework - and we feel he needs to be in bed by 9:30. Are we being unreasonable? Should he decide? Of course not. You're right to want to guide and protect him, but try to work this out in a nonconfrontational way. Talk it over together but without giving in to what "the Joneses" do. Tell him that "this is the way we do it in our family," and explain why it's important for him to get his sleep. "I'm sorry that your friends' parents aren't more concerned about their health, but that's not an issue for us." Suggest 9:30 as a reasonable bedtime, but be prepared to compromise to 9:45 or 10:00 in order to keep things nonadversarial. You might also make bedtime more attractive by offering him a special before-bed period with you or his father to read together or just to talk. My son is 3 1/2 and still takes a two-hour nap every day. My friend said you should discontinue naps at age 3. Is that right? No, it's not. I'd continue his nap for as long as your son wants and needs one. Just be sure that his nap ends by 3:00 p.m., as a child who naps too long won't go to sleep easily at night. If you're an at-home mom, his nap gives you more time for yourself; if you and your husband work, his nap in day care gives him the energy he needs to be awake and alert in the evening when you come home. So a nap is a good thing for everyone. Several hours after my 13-year-old went to bed she came downstairs and tried to walk out the front door. She was half-dressed, and when I asked what she was doing, she said she was going to school. Then I saw she was still asleep, and I guided her back to bed. The next day she didn't remember the incident. I'm afraid this will happen when I'm not there to stop her. What can I do? Sleepwalking can occur in children of any age, especially in adolescents. It seems to be a response to stress, and you do need to protect her from it. With her permission, set up an alarm system across her bedroom door that isn't loud enough to frighten her, but will awaken you in your room if she tries to leave hers. You might also put a lock on the front door that would be difficult for her to manipulate in her sleep. Finally, make your house as safe as possible, so if she does get out of her room and sleepwalk, she won't hurt herself. TIP #12 - Family Travel Made Easy Part of the fun of being a new parent is seeing the world through the eyes of your child. That's why family outings are as much fun for parents as they are for children. Yet, getting there may not be part of that fun. Just ask the mom or dad who has to pack up the paraphernalia , toys, bottles, blankets, car seats, clothes, diaper bag , and spends the entire trip trying to keep baby happy. Make the going smoother with the following 10 travel tips from travel writer Eleanor Berman, author of the "Away For The Weekend With Kids" series. These tips will ease the anxiety associated with traveling with an infant or small child and make the adventure happy for everyone. Being confined to a car can be difficult for a small child. For day trips, keep the distance down, and for all trips with small children, plan to stop periodically for a small snack or to change a diaper. Fill a special travel bag with a few favorite toys and books for the trip. Be sure to avoid toys with small pieces and detachable parts that can get lost in the car. Bring along baby's favorite music, one upbeat selection for entertaining and one soothing selection for quiet time. To lessen the bulk, use multi-function products specially designed for travel. Fisher-Price's "Home Away From Home" products, such as the Pop-Up Play Seat and Sit 'n Soothe Portable Bassinet, make travel easier for parents by performing several functions. Mirrors can occupy a small child or baby for hours in a car, train or plane. Make sure the mirror does not have sharp edges and is not too small. Many babies sleep well in a car. Schedule travel for sleep times. Bring along "L-shaped" bottles for feeding times while in a car seat. The bottle's design enables the baby to drink without tilting his or her head back. For travel in a car seat or stroller, a neck support or pillow can help to make the trip more comfortable. Bring along familiar objects from home, such as blankets and pillows. Pack some of baby's favorite snacks; it is hard to find Cheerios and bananas at the airport or highway rest stop. Tip #13 - Booster Seats Read the booster seat instructions and your vehicle owner’s manual carefully before installing a booster seat. All children from about 40 lbs. to 80 lbs. and less than 4’9” tall should be properly restrained in a booster seat. Children these sizes are often ages four to eight. A child who cannot sit with his or her back straight against the vehicle seat back cushion, with knees bent over a vehicle’s seat edge without slouching, must use a booster seat All children age 12 and under should sit properly restrained in the back seat. Never use just a lap belt only across a child sitting in a booster seat. Never put the shoulder belt behind a child’s arm or back because it eliminates the protection for the upper part of the body and increases the risk of severe injury in a crash. Never use pillows, books or towels to boost a child. They can slide around. Never place a child in a child safety seat in the front seat of a vehicle equipped with a passenger air bag. Traffic crashes are the leading cause of death for children of every age from 6 to 14 years. Most kids riding in child safety seats are improperly restrained. Parents often don’t realize they need to alter the type of child safety seats they use as children grow. When children outgrow convertible seats, at around 40 lbs., they should be restrained in booster seats until they are big enough to fit in an adult seat belt, at about 80 lbs. and 4’9” tall. A child under 80 lbs. is generally too small for an adult seat belt. The lap belt rides up over the stomach and the shoulder belt cuts across the neck. In a crash, this can cause critical or even fatal injuries. According to a NHTSA study, after age four, restraint use falls from 91 percent to 68.7 percent. Over 47 percent of fatally injured children ages four to seven are completely unrestrained. Only 6.1 percent of booster size children are estimated to be using a booster seat. Child safety seats – including booster seats – are very effective in saving children’s lives during crashes. With so many child safety seats, seat belts, and vehicles on the market today, it can be very difficult to properly install a child safety seat. Parents should have their child safety seats inspected by a trained and certified technician in their community. TIP #14 - Being a better parent Give up trying to convince a furious 4-year-old that it's a bad idea to have another cookie right before dinner. The logic of that decision will be lost on him. Why you need to: It's futile to argue with a child who's in the middle of a tantrum. Instead of getting through to him, you will likely upset him even more. That, in turn, makes him feel miserable and you feel ineffectual. How you do it: Try changing your location: If you're in public with your child, move to a different aisle of the supermarket or cut your expedition short; at home, walk into another room. The key is to distract -- if not your child, then yourself. One mother told me that when she is approaching meltdown with her 3-year-old, she goes to the freezer, grabs two ice cubes, and holds one in each fist: "It literally cools me down! And it reminds me not to argue with him." TIP #15 - Baby-Pool Rules Public and backyard baby pools both pose special health risks to infants. Before you let your little one splash, follow these tips. Empty backyard pools every night. "Stagnant water can lead to a urinary-tract infection and can infect any cuts your child might have," says Jeanne James, M.D., an assistant professor of pediatrics at Tulane University School of Medicine, in New Orleans. Turn the empty pool over to drain so mosquitoes don't breed in it. Be constantly vigilant about the danger of drowning. No baby or toddler, even one using a flotation device, should be left alone in or near a pool for even a minute. Let the phone ring! If your child is under 6 months of age, be wary of taking her to a public baby pool, because you don't know how clean the water is. If another child has diarrhea, for example, he can contaminate the pool water with E. coli bacteria, which can make your baby extremely sick. "Infants are more susceptible to gastrointestinal illnesses than older kids," Dr. James points out. Think about the safety of other children. Although special swim diapers are meant to prevent leakage of urine or feces, they don't do a perfect job. "If your child has diarrhea, she should not be in a public pool at all," Dr. James says. TIP #16 - Summer Safety Tips Kids are more likely to get hurt during the summer than at any other time of the year. In fact, nearly 3 million children will be rushed to emergency rooms this summer because of bike accidents, falls, and other mishaps, according to the National Safe Kids Campaign. In addition to injuries, kids are at risk for hazards like sunburn and poison ivy. Sunburn Strategies: Quick treatment: Prevention tips: Try to get your child to wear a baseball cap as well; when you're at the beach or pool, cover him up with a T-shirt for at least part of the day, and reapply sunscreen every time he gets out of the water. It's safe to use sunscreen on babies under 6 months, says the American Academy of Pediatrics, though it's best to keep infants out of direct sunlight as much as possible. Poison Ivy: Quick treatment: "The oil can linger on clothes, too, so make sure you wash whatever she was wearing," she adds. To treat a rash, apply an over-the-counter 1 percent steroid cream, and if your child is really suffering, give her an over-the-counter antihistamine, like Benadryl, to relieve itching. A cool oatmeal bath can also be soothing. For more severe cases, see your pediatrician, who may prescribe an oral steroid. Prevention tips: TIP #17 - Healthy Snacks from A to
Z You offer fruit. They beg for candy, cookies, chips -- and more candy. What's a health-conscious mom to do? Meet them halfway, with treats that are crunchy, appealing, and that satisfy their "fun " tooth too. Almonds are nutritional powerhouses: high in fiber, protein, vitamin E, calcium, riboflavin, copper, zinc, potassium, magnesium, and healthy monounsaturated fat. A small handful (about one ounce) is just the right amount for kids to munch on. (Note: Do not give nuts to children under 3; they can be a choking hazard.) Breakfast Bars are, admittedly, not as good for kids as a bowl of fortified cereal with milk is, but they're more portable and fun to eat. Health Valley brand contains 100 percent RDV (recommended daily value) of vitamin E and 25 percent of calcium, and it's low in fat too. Cheese is a great source of calcium and protein, and nearly every child loves it. But you already know that. What you may not realize is that low-fat American slices provide a full 25 percent RDV of calcium and five grams of protein. For a clever presentation, cut slices into shapes with assorted cookie cutters. Dried Cranberries, a.k.a. Craisins, are a great alternative to raisins. Sweet, tart, and ruby red, one-third cup provides two grams of fiber and 11 percent RDV of vitamin C. For a snack that will give kids energy to burn, mix them with pistachios or peanuts. Eggs are more fun when they're painted in rainbow shades. Hard-boil eggs, then peel and place them in a bowl of water tinted with foodcoloring. After ten minutes, remove eggs and store in the refrigerator. Voila -- a high-quality, protein-packed snack your kids will fight over. Fruit Rolls are all-time favorites, but they're not all created equal. The best of the batch is Sunkist 100% Fruit Rolls, enriched with vitamin C. They're sweetened with fruit-juice concentrate instead of corn syrup. Gogurt is yogurt in a tube, and trust us: The funky packaging will have kids begging for more. One tube contains 10 percent RDV of calcium, and Gogurt has the LAC (live active cultures) seal, an indication that the product contains live, friendly bacteria, to aid digestion. Hummus and veggies are a match made in heaven. Kids love dips, and this one, made from pureed chickpeas and sesame seeds, is high in protein (two grams per two-ounce serving), vitamins B6 and C, and potassium. Smooth and mild-tasting, it's great for dunking assorted veggies. Ices are an ideal choice- if they're homemade. Pour 100 percent fruit juice into small plastic cups and freeze. (Insert Popsicle sticks before juice freezes completely.) For extra nutrition, drop a whole strawberry into each cup. Jelly spread on rice cakes is ho-hum, but a tower of mini rice cakes with jelly in between is an edible construction project -- and a nearly fat-free snack. Kosher Pickle Spears wrapped in deli-counter turkey slices make an excellent between-meal treat. An ounce of turkey provides 10 percent RDV of niacin, 7 percent of vitamin B6, and eight grams of protein. Pickles, though high in sodium, are basically fat- and calorie-free and make bland foods (such as turkey) more appealing. Low-fat Chocolate Milk isn't news -- but chocolate slushees are! Freeze in ice-cube trays and blend to make a delicious drink that contains 30 percent RDV of calcium, eight grams of protein, and only five grams of fat. Multigrain Toaster Waffles are lightly sweet, and some brands contain two grams of fiber per waffle. Spread with Nutella (a chocolate-hazelnut spread found next to the peanut butter in the supermarket) and fold in half for a dessertlike snack that's neat to eat. Nibblers are frozen half ears of corn. Kids will get a kick out of them, and they're just the right size for little hands and between-meal appetites. Pop 'em in the microwave to heat. Oatmeal Cookies are an excellent treat for your little cookie monsters. Check the health-food section of your supermarket -- not the cookie aisle -- for brands that are low-fat and high-fiber. Pizza Rolls are just the ticket when the kids are craving a slice between meals. Pop these bite-size pockets of crispy dough wit h pizza filling in the microwave and they'll be ready in less than a minute. Totino's brand contains nine grams of protein per serving. Quick Soups in cups are comforting on cold days and come in a wide range of flavors. Seek out lower-sodium, all-natural brands (such as Fantastic, Nile, and Health Valley), which contain fiber. Surprise the kids by floating a few pretzel goldfish on top. Rice-and-Marshmallow treats by Hain contain no additives or artificial flavors. They come in two varieties: regular and with chocolate chips. Sweet-Potato Chips are a more nutritious alternative to standard chips. Terra Chips are lightly spiced and contain 80 percent RDV of vitamin A and three grams of fiber in a one-ounce serving. Tortillas are a Mexican snack food. Soften a small corn or flour tortilla in the microwave, top with shredded cheese, salsa, and a sprinkling of vitamin-E-packed toasted sunflower seeds, and roll tightly. Upside-Down Cake is a homey treat and can be made in less than ten minutes. Place one drained pineapple ring in a custard cup. Spread half a blueberry muffin with apple butter or jam and place over fruit; pop in the toaster oven for five minutes. Invert muffins onto plates. The pineapple contains 10 percent RDV of vitamin C, and the muffin provides complex carbs. Vegetable Egg Rolls may be unusual, but your kids will love them. Perfect anytime, egg rolls, in the freezer section of the supermarket, are full of veggies. Look for an additive-free brand (such as Health Is Wealth). Whole-Wheat English Muffins are a smart switch from the traditional kind. Enriched with minerals, iron, and fiber, they make a perfect snack when toasted and spread with protein-rich peanut butter. Top with a teaspoon of chocolate sprinkles for extra kid appeal. X-change a 300-calorie candy bar for a Bananarama: Cut a banana in half, skewer on a Popsicle stick, drizzle with fudge sauce, sprinkle with nuts, and freeze. Half a banana provides 220 milligrams of potassium and 15 percent RDV of vitamin B6. Yummy pudding (chocolate, vanilla, or butterscotch) gets a calcium boost when you add two tablespoons of dry-milk powder to the dry mix before stirring in milk. Zucchini bread may not be loaded with zucchini, but it is a step up from pound cake nutritionwise. Slice thinly, toast, and spread with light cream cheese.
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